Grinning and Bare
©
by Ebony Isis Booth
I know how insane I must look
eyes wild and red
soaked with sleeplessness and hurt
arms erect
over extended
reaching for understanding
hands waving left to right
conjuring a solution or
calling a storm
speaking in defense of my
twelve, sixteen,
twenty-four year old selves
their corpses
resurrecting myself from
the grave of each heartbreak
compelling myself to take up this bed and walk
towards you
at this arm’s length
careful not to let you closer than your longest weapon’s
tip
these deaths
this grief
hanging on by a thread
for you, Dear
for life
oh, Dear
this transformation must be frightening to watch
full moons and blood letting
razor sharp
hair standing on end
lip curled
snarling
tooth and nail sharpened
running tongue across front of mouth
considering the thickness of skin on teeth
as sufficient foothold and traction
thought I was happy this time
unprotected by the tiny sweaters
depression knits across dentin
on dark days
where paralysis leaves me
black
woman
bedridden
afflicted
in love
or in self hate
the velvety thickness reminds me
gurl, you got grit
but the skin of a
happy tooth
happens to be slick
oh, joy
comes in the morning
and looks like
wood searching thighs
for access to a strong current
to rock him gently out of this
300 thread count sanctuary and into
the world he will conquer next
these are the threads I am left with which to
wash
fold
wrestle death
receive a blessing
wash
fold
outsmart death again
repeat
until threadbare and weathered
clutching remnants of his stronghold
to cover me
deity without offerings
what he takes with him when he exits me
culture and currency
sustainable emotional poverty
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